You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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