I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
