I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
