you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
