I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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