My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
