guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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