when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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