The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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