I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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