I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I stole a fireplace last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
