He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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