so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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