her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
