That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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