remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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