I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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