I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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