You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
