if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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