nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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