Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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