I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
