Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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