so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there was a trapeze. enough said
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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