Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
