they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
