I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
