Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
