All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
