when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
