It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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