i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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