giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
