Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Let's get the cat blown out
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
