Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
