Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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