Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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