He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
