wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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