Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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