Christians are straight up FREAKS
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize