haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
