Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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