We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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