Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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