so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
