Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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