in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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