I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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