I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
