I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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