we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
