Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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