Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
