I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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