Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
