I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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