Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
