If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do vagina's smell?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
